Friday 21 September 2012

And the results are in

Well I got what I was hoping for - a definitive result from the test.

It's just that I was kind of hoping that it would be a definitive no, not a definitive yes.

In very simple terms the results show that as it stands I have a 23% chance of getting a cancer somewhere else in my body but  by giving me chemo this will reduce my risk by a further 30%. You can do the math but it is worth it.

 And the money was much better spent on this test than a chin augmentation and a new handbag.

So chemotherapy is my next gig. I start on Thursday and I will have 6 cycles, over 18 weeks.

I really regret not writing this straight after I got the results because my "hey I've just been thrown another big challenge" creative stimulus  had me firing with inspiration and so many funny one liners.

But I was very busy after the appt with my oncologist. There is so much stuff to get done, things to read places to go people to see. I can understand why people feel like they need a project manager to organise it. Maybe I can just outsource the whole experience.

I was going to write last night but with Ducatilad only in town for 36 hours I had better things to do late at night and we had consumed a very nice  French Bordeaux at dinner (make no apologies for TMI).

So tonight I am just tired, emotionally wrung out and pissed off.

Add to that I have a shocking cough, sore throat and I  feel like my body is doing a dress rehearsal for chemo.

 Again I am gunning for my good friend denial hoping that she will get me through the next few days as I focus on getting well physically so that my body can cope with the assault it is about to undergo.


But at least I now know that the cocktail of poison that will be delivered to my body will actually be of benefit.

Comfort? Not sure.

I did however take a proactive step in preparation - I went and had a very very short haircut.  
Now for those of you who know what I look like, you know that I wear my hair very short and chic. I have been letting it grow until I knew whether I was having chemo or not.Think the hormone therapy has made it thicker and coarser.  So off I went today to get the lovely Tara to crop it even shorter than I normally have it.  One up from a number one buzz. 

Just like I knew that I wanted to have a double mastectomy as soon as I was diagnosed this time, I knew that I didn't want to wait to have my hair fall out in random bits once chemo started. 

And no I am not taking preemptive measures anywhere else on my body.

PART 2
Sleep won last night. I had intended signing off with a very pithy closing statement but I interrupted my blogging to watch Puberty Blues. Didn't make it to the end - awoke slumped like a Nana with my headphones in and the adverts on a loop.

I  am resting today in my fight against this cough and cold. I think my immune system is crying "enough" so I am trying to listen.

No doubt chemo will provide me with many funny moments and great blogging material. It's just at the moment I am struggling to see the funny side.

But I am as always

P xx



3 comments:

  1. Yes the maths makes it worth it.

    You don't have to see the funny side you know.

    x

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thinking of you and wishing you courage for tomorrow. How can we help make the whole process easier?. Much love to you. KL

    ReplyDelete