Friday, 21 September 2012

And the results are in

Well I got what I was hoping for - a definitive result from the test.

It's just that I was kind of hoping that it would be a definitive no, not a definitive yes.

In very simple terms the results show that as it stands I have a 23% chance of getting a cancer somewhere else in my body but  by giving me chemo this will reduce my risk by a further 30%. You can do the math but it is worth it.

 And the money was much better spent on this test than a chin augmentation and a new handbag.

So chemotherapy is my next gig. I start on Thursday and I will have 6 cycles, over 18 weeks.

I really regret not writing this straight after I got the results because my "hey I've just been thrown another big challenge" creative stimulus  had me firing with inspiration and so many funny one liners.

But I was very busy after the appt with my oncologist. There is so much stuff to get done, things to read places to go people to see. I can understand why people feel like they need a project manager to organise it. Maybe I can just outsource the whole experience.

I was going to write last night but with Ducatilad only in town for 36 hours I had better things to do late at night and we had consumed a very nice  French Bordeaux at dinner (make no apologies for TMI).

So tonight I am just tired, emotionally wrung out and pissed off.

Add to that I have a shocking cough, sore throat and I  feel like my body is doing a dress rehearsal for chemo.

 Again I am gunning for my good friend denial hoping that she will get me through the next few days as I focus on getting well physically so that my body can cope with the assault it is about to undergo.

But at least I now know that the cocktail of poison that will be delivered to my body will actually be of benefit.

Comfort? Not sure.

I did however take a proactive step in preparation - I went and had a very very short haircut.  
Now for those of you who know what I look like, you know that I wear my hair very short and chic. I have been letting it grow until I knew whether I was having chemo or not.Think the hormone therapy has made it thicker and coarser.  So off I went today to get the lovely Tara to crop it even shorter than I normally have it.  One up from a number one buzz. 

Just like I knew that I wanted to have a double mastectomy as soon as I was diagnosed this time, I knew that I didn't want to wait to have my hair fall out in random bits once chemo started. 

And no I am not taking preemptive measures anywhere else on my body.

Sleep won last night. I had intended signing off with a very pithy closing statement but I interrupted my blogging to watch Puberty Blues. Didn't make it to the end - awoke slumped like a Nana with my headphones in and the adverts on a loop.

I  am resting today in my fight against this cough and cold. I think my immune system is crying "enough" so I am trying to listen.

No doubt chemo will provide me with many funny moments and great blogging material. It's just at the moment I am struggling to see the funny side.

But I am as always

P xx


  1. Yes the maths makes it worth it.

    You don't have to see the funny side you know.


  2. Thinking of you and wishing you courage for tomorrow. How can we help make the whole process easier?. Much love to you. KL