Day 4 is coming to an end.
Again feeling tired. My body is working very hard to heal.
Each day brings its share of highs and lows, surprises and the odd absolutely bizarre moments.
I knew today would be ok when this morning I successfully put my nose stud back in my nose.
Now I know I have to learn to adjust without breasts but the thought that my nose may be naked again was a little too much to bear.
But with some lubricant, some antiseptic and sheer determination I managed to shove that diamond stud through my nose.
The other good omen was the shower and having my hair washed.
And finally, in the correct medical terminology - I had my bowels opened.
Never underestimate the power of a freshly washed body and a good crap.
(Just excuse me while I get jabbed, blood pressured and drugged. Back in a minute.
Ok back. The tablets are ok, the blood thinning injections are getting a bit tiresome.)
I think yesterday was also hard as I can't stop being a parent, and N had to have his major art work for his HSC in and I couldn't be there for him, and then today he has had to muddle through and be on his own studying for the start of his exams on Monday.
I knew he was doing it a bit tough when he told me he missed me today. Ah mother guilt.
Well S flew back to Brisbane today. Hard for both of us. It has been so good having her here but I never want what is happening to me to prevent her from fulfilling her dreams. And that is not just what I am dealing with now.
I think she gets that I am just giving her some superb material to draw on for future performances.
She has promised me that I will be her date at the Oscars - may have to get some good fake boobs for that outing.
The day was filled with visits, messages, and so much care and culinary delights. As such I have managed to avoid relying on the hospital's chefs for my sustenance.
Breakfast was homemade muesli, morning tea was fresh sourdough bread with thickly spread buttter and jam and lunch was pasta from last nights run to the pizza joint down the road.
In fact for breakfast tomorrow from the hospital I have ordered a bowl, a glass of milk and a spoon. Just as well I am making use of all the other services the NSW Public Health System has to offer.
I was going to move to the private hospital but beds were short and things are really very good here. The care from the staff has been great.
However tonight there was a moment when I thought a private room would have been a blessing.
There is very little privacy and conversations can be heard quite easily.
The woman in the bed opposite me (who has some developmental delay) was giving a very detailed medical history to some medical students. There was lots of stuff being carefully recounted over a long time.
But I think the fact that she had a very promiscuous boyfriend and he gave her chlamydia would definitely fall into the bizarre and too much information category.
Really regret not putting my headphones in earlier.
Dr Dave popped in again today - looking more like a uni student than a skilled breast surgeon. He had a peek at his handiwork and is pleased.
I have also gotten braver taking peeks and feeling my way around my new top half.
Not ready to do a full frontal view, but the fact that it looks neat and symmetrical is a start.
I trust that one day it will cross over and this will just be the new me. How long that takes I don't know.
Sleep is calling (or maybe that's the drugs). Either way, I am listening.